Section 17about 13 min · no rush
17

Counselling: approaches, forms & what it is

Counselling is a structured, confidential helping relationship in which a trained person helps a client understand their situation and find their own way through it. It is NOT advice-giving, lecturing, interrogation, or ordinary chat, and the client, not the counselor, remains the expert on their own life.

Six approaches: one table

CTEVT PSC curriculum
ApproachProblem is…Counselor does…Best for · watch out
PsychodynamicUnconscious conflict rooted in early relationshipsListens for patterns, explores childhood, works with the relationship itselfLong-standing relational patterns · slow, needs training
BehaviouralLearned behaviour kept alive by reinforcementExposure, activity scheduling, reinforcement of new behaviourPhobia, avoidance, habits · ignores meaning if used alone
Humanistic (Rogers)Growth blocked by lack of acceptanceEmpathy, genuineness, unconditional positive regard; client leadsThe foundation of ALL counselling · not enough alone in severe illness
Cognitive-behavioural (CBT)Unhelpful thoughts drive feelings and behaviourIdentify → test → reframe distortions; homework; behavioural experimentsDepression, anxiety · needs literacy-adapted tools in Nepal
Exposure techniqueAvoidance keeps fear alive (the loop of Fear: the foundation)Graded ladder; stay long enough to learn that the feared outcome is less likely or more bearable than predicted (anxiety may or may not fall); repeatPhobia, OCD; PTSD only as trauma-focused therapy by a trained provider · never force; consent and pacing are everything
Socio-culturalDistress produced by context: poverty, discrimination, family, cultureWorks with family/community, healers, resources, advocacyAlmost every Nepali case · don't let it excuse skipping the individual

The table is the map a first reader needs. The four sections below open one approach at a time, at the depth the curriculum expects for the exam.

Go deeper: the psychodynamic approachCTEVT PSC curriculum
EGO reality principle · wait until the exam ends SUPEREGO moral principle · cheating is wrong: guilt, pride ID pleasure principle · eat the sandwich now drives · repressed memories · wishes we cannot see CONSCIOUS what you notice right now PRECONSCIOUS retrievable: a phone number UNCONSCIOUS dreams, slips, symptoms waterline
Freud's two models in one picture. The classroom example: hungry in an exam hall, the id says eat now, the ego says wait thirty minutes and eat safely, the superego says copying a friend's answer to finish early would be wrong. The ego is the part doing the negotiating. The drawing simplifies: in Freud's own account the ego and superego both reach down into the unconscious.

Three assumptions carry the whole approach:

  • Psychic determinism: thoughts, feelings and slips have causes, often out of awareness
  • Unconscious motivation: drives we do not see steer us
  • Childhood primacy: early relationships shape adult patterns

The counselor listens for repeating patterns, especially in how the client treats the counselor.

Psychosexual stages, as the curriculum expects them. Freud held that pleasure-seeking energy settles on one body zone per stage, and that an unresolved stage leaves a "fixation" in the adult. Learn the table for the exam; then hold it lightly: neither the stages nor the popular "id-dominant / superego-dominant personality" typology is diagnostic, and neither has held up as evidence. What survives is the wider idea that early relationships and defences matter.

Stage · ageZone · task"Fixation" traits Freud proposed
Oral · birth to 18 monthsMouth · weaningDependence, overeating, smoking; or sarcasm and verbal hostility
Anal · 18 months to 3 yearsBowel and bladder · toilet trainingOver-neat, stingy, perfectionist; or messy, careless, rebellious
Phallic · 3 to 6 yearsGenitals · the Oedipus conflict (the girl's version was named the Electra complex by Jung, not Freud)Vanity, recklessness, difficulty in close relationships
Latency · 6 years to pubertyDormant · school, friends, skillsEnergy goes into learning and play
Genital · puberty onwardMature relationships · "to love and to work"The balanced adult, if earlier stages resolved
Go deeper: the behavioural approachCTEVT PSC curriculum

Behaviourism (Pavlov, Watson, Skinner) keeps only what can be seen and counted. Its wager: a troubling behaviour was learned, so it can be unlearned. Two kinds of learning do the work.

Classical conditioning is learning by association: a neutral thing gets paired with something that already triggers a response, until it triggers the response alone.

PhaseWhat happensPavlov's dogs
BeforeUnconditioned stimulus gives an unconditioned response; the neutral stimulus gives nothingFood makes the dog salivate; a bell does not
DuringNeutral and unconditioned stimuli arrive together, again and againBell, then food, many times
AfterThe once-neutral stimulus alone now gives the responseBell alone: salivation

Four words go with it:

  • Extinction: the bell without food, until the response fades
  • Spontaneous recovery: it returns after a rest
  • Generalisation: similar things trigger it too
  • Discrimination: only the exact cue does

Watson's "Little Albert" (1920), an infant taught to fear a white rat paired with a loud noise, the fear spreading to rabbits and fur coats, is history, not a model: no ethics board would allow it today, and Albert was never deconditioned. A clinical example: after chemotherapy, the hospital waiting room alone can bring on nausea.

Operant conditioning is learning by consequence. Skinner's ABC: an antecedent sets the scene, a behaviour happens, a consequence decides whether it happens again. Reinforcement always increases a behaviour; punishment always decreases it; "positive" means something is added, "negative" means something is taken away.

ConsequenceMechanismExample
Positive reinforcementAdd something wanted; behaviour increasesPraise for a child who sat through the session
Negative reinforcementRemove something unpleasant; behaviour increasesSkipping the party removes the dread, so skipping grows: the avoidance loop of Fear: the foundation
Positive punishmentAdd something unpleasant; behaviour decreasesA scolding for running into the road
Negative punishmentRemove something valued; behaviour decreasesLosing phone time for missing curfew

Schedules decide how fast a habit forms and how long it stays.

  • Continuous: every time. Learned fast, lost fast.
  • Fixed ratio: every fifth sale earns commission.
  • Variable ratio: the slot machine, hardest of all to extinguish.
  • Fixed interval: checking the post as delivery time comes near.
  • Variable interval: checking for messages.

In the counselling room: systematic desensitisation pairs relaxation with a graded ladder of feared cues; behavioural activation schedules rewarding activity for a depressed client (worked step by step on Techniques step by step); a token economy rewards target behaviours with tokens exchanged later for privileges, useful in wards and classrooms, and only as fair as the adults running it. Aversion therapy, pairing a drink with a nausea-inducing drug, belongs to the history of the approach; it is not taught here as a technique.

Go deeper: the humanistic approachCTEVT PSC curriculum

The "third force" answered both Freud and the behaviourists: people are not driven by hidden urges or shaped only by rewards; given the right conditions they grow toward their own potential. Reality is what the person experiences, choice is real, and a person is a whole, not a bundle of symptoms.

Rogers' map of the self. The self-concept is the picture we hold of ourselves. Distress grows in the gap between the real self (who I am) and the ideal self (who I feel I should be). The gap is widened by conditions of worth: rules absorbed from parents and society such as "I am lovable only if I bring top marks", which teach a person to hide what they actually feel in order to stay accepted.

Three core conditions. Rogers argued the relationship heals, and technique is secondary. He listed six necessary and sufficient conditions in 1957; three of them are what every counsellor is trained in:

  • Congruence: genuine, no professional mask
  • Unconditional positive regard: warm acceptance without terms
  • Empathic understanding: feeling with, not for, and showing it

The client sets the pace and the topic. The counselor listens actively, reflects feeling, and clarifies rather than advises. This is why the six-approach table above calls it the foundation of all counselling.

Maslow's hierarchy studied healthy, thriving people rather than patients and named five families of need:

  1. Physiological: food, water, sleep, shelter
  2. Safety: from danger, from want, a predictable world
  3. Love and belonging
  4. Esteem: competence, respect, standing
  5. Self-actualisation: becoming what one can be

Read it as a heuristic, not a staircase: needs overlap, a hungry person still loves, and which need comes first shifts with culture and circumstance. In Nepal after a flood, it is a reminder that counselling sits beside food, shelter and safety, not above them.

Go deeper: the cognitive-behavioural approachCTEVT PSC curriculum

CBT (Aaron Beck; Albert Ellis reached similar ground with his REBT) starts from one observation: it is rarely the event alone that hurts, it is the event as we read it. Change the reading and the feeling and the behaviour shift with it. It is active, structured, time-limited and full of homework.

Beck's cognitive triad in depression: bleak automatic thoughts about the self ("I am useless"), the world ("everyone expects too much of me"), and the future ("nothing will change"). Three levels of cognition sit under them: automatic thoughts, the fast commentary that pops up in a situation; intermediate beliefs, the rules and if-thens ("if I work twice as hard, nobody will notice my mistakes"); and core beliefs, the absolute verdicts laid down early ("I am fundamentally broken").

DistortionWhat it doesSounds like
All-or-nothing thinkingTwo boxes, no middle"If I don't get an A, I'm a complete failure."
CatastrophisingJumps to the worst outcome"If I stumble in the presentation, my career is over."
Mind readingAssumes what others think"She didn't wave back because she hates me."
Emotional reasoningA feeling taken as proof"I feel terrified, so this must be dangerous."
Should and must statementsRigid rules, then guilt or anger when they break"I should never need help."

Cognitive restructuring in six steps (the fuller version of the three-question check on Mental health basics):

  1. Name the situation and rate the feeling, 0 to 100.
  2. Catch the automatic thought that ran through just before the peak.
  3. Examine the evidence with Socratic questions: what supports this, what contradicts it, am I treating a thought as a fact.
  4. Label the distortion, which puts a little distance between you and the thought.
  5. Write a fairer alternative that admits the real difficulty without inflating it.
  6. Re-rate the feeling.

The aim is a truer thought, not a positive one. Thoughts are only one corner: body, behaviour and circumstances pull on feelings too, which is why CBT pairs thought-work with breath, activity and problem-solving.

Seven forms of counselling · three modes

CTEVT PSC curriculum
FormWhenKey precaution
IndividualThe default: one client, private spaceConfidentiality; records with codes, not names
FamilyProblem lives between members (a child's refusal, an elder's care)Define who the client is; stay neutral between members
GroupShared problems: grief, addiction recovery, GBV survivorsScreen members; group confidentiality agreement
CrisisImmediately after acute events; safety first, feelings secondShort, practical, directive is OK here
SupportiveOngoing emotional support where cure is not the goal (chronic illness, caregivers)Don't promise change; prevent dependency
Couple / marriageRelationship distressBalance; screen for violence FIRST: couple work is unsafe amid GBV
Task-orientedOne concrete goal (exam panic, a decision)Keep scope narrow; finish and close

Three modes (know the difference for the exam):

  • Advice-oriented: telling what to do. Sometimes needed in crisis, but not counselling proper.
  • Informative: giving accurate information, such as HIV facts or service directions.
  • Psychological or psychosocial counselling: the real craft, helping the client find their own solution.

Most clients arrive expecting advice. Part of session one is teaching what counselling is.

Test yourself

1) A wife reports beatings and asks for couple counselling, which form do you refuse for now, and what do you do instead? 2) Match approach to case: a bus-phobic teacher; a farmer whose "man is heavy" with automatic thoughts of worthlessness; a possession episode the family reads spiritually. 3) Why is "counselling = giving good advice" a misconception?

Key points
  1. Counselling is a structured, confidential relationship that helps people find their own way; it is not advice or lecturing.
  2. Six approaches (psychodynamic, behavioural, humanistic, cognitive-behavioural, exposure, socio-cultural) each explain suffering differently and offer different tools; the humanistic conditions underlie all of them.
  3. Forms of counselling (individual, group, family, crisis, peer...) are chosen by the problem and the setting, not by habit.
Quick check

Three friendly questions to settle what you just read. This is reassurance, not a test: a wrong tap is part of learning, and you can try again.

Rogers' three core conditions are:

A wife reports beatings and requests couple counselling. You:

Counselling proper means:

Learn more

Pick one, not all.

BookCarl Rogers, On Becoming a Person: ch. 2–3: the helping relationship, from its inventor.
Free bookWhere There Is No Psychiatrist: Part 1: core counselling skills for low-resource settings.
FilmGood Will Hunting (1997): watch the counselling scenes for genuineness, boundaries and challenge in action.

This page will still be here tomorrow, and it reads differently once you have met its ideas in real life.